By Your Side
You think I'd leave your side baby?
You know me better than
You think I'd leave down when you’re down on your knees?
I wouldn't do that
I'll do you right when
If only you could see into me
Oh, when you’re cold
I'll be there
to hold you tight to me
When you’re on the outside baby and you can't get in
I will show you, you’re so
much better than you know
When you’re lost, when you’re alone and you can't get back again
I will find
you darling I'll bring you home
If you want to cry
I am here to dry your eyes
And in no time you'll be fine
You think I'd leave your side baby
You know me better than that
You think I'd leave you down when you’re
down on your knees
I wouldn't do that
I'll do you right when you’re wrong
I-----I, ohhhh, ohhh
only you could see into me
Oh when you’re cold
I'll be there
To hold you tight to me
Oh when you’re
I’ll be there by your side baby
Joey clasped onto his hand tightly and leant into the palm that cupped her cheek, the intoxication
that Pacey gave her was unbearable; it had been that way since the middle of summer and it was ridiculous. She found it hard
to be with him and seeing him with Andie was a nightmare. She snapped out of her thoughts as she passed Bessie carrying Alex
on her hip, it was way past his bedtime but she sensed he had just got too energetic and wouldn't settle. Again.
staying tonight, Bess," she said sternly, walking past her and into the bathroom, grabbing him a towel from the cabinet. "Here,"
she said giving it to him. "You can take a shower, or a bath if you want one, y'know get the knots out from sleeping on a
car for a week."
"Want to have a bath with me?" he smiled cheekily, grabbing her waist, and reeling her into him.
Trust him to make suggestive suggestions at times like this, Joey thought as she stared through him. "Y'know we could get
all bubbly together and your hand could accidentally on purpose slip when you're looking for soap," he said as he smiled his
unmistakable Witter smile. She wanted to scowl at him, shove the towel into his chest and walk off, muttering under her breath
how he was such a pig; but she couldn't.
For some reason the boy she had known since she was three years old had started
to get to her, she could no longer resist that smile; she could remember a time when she was almost immune to him and the
Witter charm. She wanted
to scowl at him but she just couldn’t;
instead she smiled awkwardly and blushed. She didn’t know what it was about him, its not like she could put her finger
on an exact reason why, all she knew was she never used to feel that way. She pushed the feelings aside; she didn’t
need to think about that today. All she did was glare, although unsuccessfully, before turning and walking out the door as
he smiled and laughed.
"So is that a no then?" he asked laughing, before closing the bathroom door.
through to the kitchen to a scowling Bessie. The smile on her face was thick and plastered; a fake smile that she only used
when she was annoyed about something; a smile that always
“Hey Bess,” Joey said, walking past her and hoping she would get away with it; she didn’t.
the hell was that?" Bessie asked annoyed. "Wouldn't it be nice to ask me? Y'know I do own
this place, I deserve to be asked if someone can stay,”
“Bess..” She tried to interject
but her sister cut her off.
“Why is Pacey staying here anyway? doesn’t he have a home of his own to go
to? One where there aren’t paying guests?" She looked at her sister's hard and unforgiving eyes. "It's not that I don't
like Pacey, because you know
I love him like a brother but…
I don't understand why he doesn’t’t just go home. It's not that late in the day and he didn’t look drunk..
is he drunk."
“No he isn’t drunk
said rolling her eyes.
“Then you can go and hell him to march right back home and bug his own
"Listen Bessie," Joey said simply. "It's my house too and Pacey needs somewhere to crash,"
she told her, venturing into the cupboard and getting out some ingredients to make him some food.
sighed heavily and dropped her head to her chest before turning around and looking at her sister. Bessie glared at her, placing
her hands on her hips and awaiting an explanation; she knew it had to be a good one.
"He's having some trouble at
home, Bessie; He hasn't been home in a week. He can't stay in his truck anymore and he needs somewhere to stay… I couldn't
turn him away he's my best friend," she repeated the last words sternly. "My best
friend, Bess. You always said to help a friend in need; that’s what I'm doing. He has nowhere else to go."
She looked at her sister whose look had softened. "If he had anywhere to go he would be there instead of sleeping on the back
seat of his truck for a week."
"A week?" Bessie said shocked, she needed to sit down. "He's been sleeping in a car
for a week and you didn’t ask me if he could stay before now." She said "Pacey is family, Jo. As close as you can get
without being family. He's helped us so much you should have offered it as soon as possible, but you waited a week," she said,
looking at her sister softly. "Why didn't you offer?"
"I didn’t know until now, he just told me tonight. His
dad threw him out so he might have to stay here a while okay? Just until he gets some place else to stay,"
stay a while
, but you still should have asked me. It’s
the kind of thing you ask the head of the household," she pointed out, drinking some coffee she had poured a while ago and
grimacing at the taste; it was cold and sweet.
"I know, I know,” Joey smiled, hugging her sister and grabbing
a slice of carrot from the counter. “I’ll go and tell him the good news,”
Joey sat with Pacey in her room; he was staring at the ceiling, just thinking about everything
and nothing all at once. She lay down beside him and nudged him in the shoulder to catch his attention. She had been looking
at him for ten minutes and he had said nothing.
"Penny for em?" Joey spoke up finally. He turned his face to hers
and gave her a confused look. "Your thoughts; what you thinking about?" she asked.
His eyes were full of mystery and
she couldn't quite read them. He just lay there beside her in his t-shirt and black Daffy Duck boxer shorts.
her eyes wander down his body to his stomach, and in the gap between the band of his boxers and the bottom of his t-shirt
where there was a small trail of dark hair she had never noticed before. Of course
Pacey had navel-button hair, all boys did, but his was different and somehow a little forbidden. She looked up
to his face, conscious that she was staring at his crotch, and noticed his large hands that cupped the back of his head as
he relaxed. She gazed at the cut on his hand where he had accidentally gone through the skin with a screwdriver last week
and started thinking about all his other scars. The funny one on his leg from when he picked at his chicken pox; the long
banana shaped one on his left calf from the time he fell off his bike. She could remember all the times that he had been hurt;
like the time that he and Dawson had fought over a space hopper and fell in the creek together, hitting their heads on the
beams of the dock But there were some scars and marks that she couldn’t remember witnessing; now she couldn’t
help thinking that maybe some of the ‘stories’ he told her about the scars were untrue. Where had all those bumps
and bruises really
"I'm waiting," she said
snapping out of her thoughts. "Don't ignore me. Tell me what you're thinking, Pacey," she demanded softly.
he breathed "I don't really know, Josephine." He smiled at her name, he loved saying it. The way it rolled off his tongue,
Jo-seph-ine and he wished that he could call her that all the time. "I guess I was just thinking about everything y'know?
Yet, strangely enough, nothing; I was thinking about everything but nothing at all… does that make any sense?”
He asked with a small laugh; he knew the comment made no sense at all.
“That makes a lot of sense actually;
I often thing about everything and nothing; I guess when you think about nothing you’re also inclined to think about
everything.” She turned on her side to face him, putting her hand under her head. “It’s your brains weird
and wonderful way of making you confide in yourself,”
"I've been thinking about Andie," he told her. He could
tell by her eyes that she wanted to know more, it was that subtle look that he knew so well. "I think she's seeing someone
else; Well I think she's sleeping
with someone else; another
guy..." he thought out loud then exhaled a breath he had been holding. "Again."
"Why?" Joey asked. She couldn’t
believe she would do it again; why anyone would do it again after almost losing him once. "What makes you think that?"
I don't know," he answered, thinking, "a few things,”
“Some people just don’t want to tell everyone every single detail about their life; they
don’t always want to burden people with all their problems and insecurities”
“I have to call her
before I go over now. And she... how do I put it without crippling embarrassment… Y'know we're not... you know?" He
asked raising his eyebrows and hoping she would catch on; she didn’t. "Y'know we’re not being involved
right now" he gave her a look and hoped she would catch onto his thoughts
instead of making him say it. For such a smart girl, she was stupid sometimes..
"Ohh," she said, her eyes growing
wide as she realized what he was indeed talking about. She couldn't understand it; even she
had to admit that the thought of being that
with Pacey was kind of exciting and hard to resist. "You mean she doesn’t want to?" Joey asked confused.
No. I mean I'm not complaining about it either y'know I...I can't, y'know I can’t… I'm not able to," he said sadly.
can't…y'know?" Joey asked, placing her hand on his crotch and quickly withdrawing her hand. “Function?”
"Oh no! I can," he said, "I am perfectly
able in that
department, I'm very
able to; no problem down there. It's all
working fine, perfect, my man has plenty
prove it; you lie down and I’ll prove it right now!" He said stopping to blush a little when he realized that she had
received the message perfectly clearly.
“Not really necessary,”
"It's not down there
that's the problem; it's here," he said pointing to his head. "I can't, because if I do it means I'll get that
feeling you get, that close connected feeling and I don't want that. I can't handle it right now. I can't trust her with my
heart then have it broken again. When I let her into my mind my heart isn't too far away and it’s just being held together…
it's not fixed yet." He cringed at his words. "Every time I touch her I just think of him, I think of Marc; his hands all
over her body, my girlfriends body
… touching her in places
that nobody but me had touched her before,” he gazed down, unable to look her in the eyes anymore “I wonder if
she thought of me at all when she was with him and..." he paused a second letting his words sink into him properly. "She doesn't
complain; I'm thinking that if she's not getting it from me she's getting it from somewhere else." He paused, and looked at
her; she was itching to say something.
"Maybe she just understands; maybe she's not cheating at all," Joey offered,
taking his hand. She could see his pain and she desperately wanted to make it easier for him.
"Then explain this,"
he said to her, looking back into her eyes. "Me and Andie haven't had sex since we got back together two months ago and we
were broken up for four months before that and just in case you can't count that six months since we had sex, add that to
the three months of summer she was away… I haven't had sex in nine months and I found condoms in her drawer, three empty
packets and one in the garbage. I can't think of a way to explain that," he said saddened, he didn’t look at her but
felt her eyes burning into him.
"Well have you talked about it?" she asked him, he was visibly upset now and she saw
it; she didn't understand Andie, how could she have been such a bitch to him. She definitely didn’t deserve him.
he answered simply. "I'll deal with it after all this is over, when I find some place to stay I'll deal with it then." He
said, "Listen I really don't want to talk about this right now." He said it kindly; he didn’t want her to feel like
he didn’t want to open up. "It's just that… you know I already feel like I'm this huge disappointment and to know
that there's something else
to make me even
more pathetic and even
more of a laughing stock
is just depressing. Plus," he yawned, "I haven't slept right for a week and I'm shattered so if you want to talk more about
me and my depressing life can we do it tomorrow?" He asked, looking at her with his large blue eyes.
"Sure," she agreed
ruffling his hair lovingly. “We’ll talk tomorrow but just so you know… You are not
is pathetic, and if she can't see
what a good thing she has then she’s crazier than we give her credit for. You are never pathetic and I refuse to let
her take you down," Joey said getting off the bed. "Now I'm going to get you some tea and then you're going to go next door
and sleep okay?" she said, in a stubborn tone.
"Sure," he said. "Can I have honey in it?" he asked. He loved honey
tea, always had it as a child when he had a fever and still had it when he was feeling a little bit down. "Thanks Joey, for
everything," he said sincerely. She headed back towards him, kissing his forehead gently before walking out without a word
to get his tea; Pacey smiled and yawned simultaneously.
"Hey Bodie," Joey said walking into the kitchen and putting
the kettle on to boil. "Where's Bessie?" she asked him, he was standing in his pajamas in the kitchen fixing some coffee before
bed and reading the paper. "How come she's not partaking in your little nightly reading ritual?"
"She's in bed," he
said simply, not looking up from the paper. "She's tired; she has to start work early tomorrow and I wasn’t tired enough
for bed, I'm going in a minute though… So?" he said finally, looking up from his paper. "How is he?"
We had a talk I'm just fixing him some honey tea then he's going to bed “she said waiting for the kettle and looking
in the cupboard for the honey.
"He does know he can stay around as long as he likes doesn’t he?" Bodie asked
her. He liked Pacey; he and the boy had become friends in the last few months. He had been at the house and the restaurant
so often they had connected. "He's very welcome, I don't mind having another man around the house to share the burden," he
paused and looked at her, "I mean pleasure
of living with the
"Hey!" Joey said hitting him on the arm, he winced and laughed through the pain.
I meant pleasure!"
"Sure ya did," she joked and then let her face fall. "Pacey knows he can stay a while... It's just
you know Pacey, he's stubborn and he likes not to feel in the way of anything. Telling him he can stay as long as he likes
and him actually believing it are two very, very different things," she told him and Bodie nodded in agreement. "It's just
that," she paused as she poured the water into two cups "I'm worried. He's so down and he has so much pain; there's so much
going on in his life right now. I just want him to be close to me so that I'm always here if he needs me," she looked at him
sideways, "Do you know what I mean?"
"You're a great friend, Joey," Bodie said kissing her head as she put the honey
in the tea and stirred it. "I'm going to bed now. Don't be late you have school tomorrow, honey," he said walking off to bed.
"Night" she shouted softly and picked the tea up walking out the kitchen switching off the light and walking into
her room. The only light in the house leaked into the hallway through the crack in her bedroom door; she walked in putting
the tea on the bedside table. Looking at Pacey she saw he was sleeping soundly; She considered waking him but he looked so
peaceful, his eyelashes lay delicately on his skin and his lips curved into a small smile. She decided not to wake him and
pulled the covers over him, climbing in beside him.
She drank her tea slowly, looking at him once in a while to check
he was still sleeping.
He slept peacefully beside her, his face more relaxed than she had seen him in a long time
She smiled as she looked down at him, leaning in to kiss his face softly and praying she didn’t wake him. She sat up
and rested her head against the headboard gazing at him a while, happy to be able to witness his peaceful slumber. Reaching
down she stroked his hair, moving it out of his face, smoothing it like her mother used to do.
She lay down close
to him after a while, turning off the light and letting herself drift off into a sleep beside him. Tomorrow she would have
a lot to talk to him about; his family, his sleeping arrangements and those scars she had never seen before,